I have written an episode of Friends that canonizes the footage from the theme song where they are dancing in the fountain. To read the full script, click here.

The bulk of the Friends theme song is made up of footage from different episodes of the show, interspersed with footage of the cast wearing matching clothes, inexplicably dancing in a fountain, and holding umbrellas.

In coming up with the story, I realized there are four key questions that need to be answered:

1. Why are they dancing in a fountain?
2. Why are they all dressed in black and white?
3. Why is there a couch by the fountain?
4. Why do they all have umbrellas?

There are other oddities, like Rachel feeding rubber ducks and Joey lounging on an inflatable pool chair, that I felt should be addressed as well. Naturally, my explanation of what lead to something as strange and uncharacteristic as dancing in a fountain is itself pretty strange, but I tried to stay true to the tone of the show. I avoided being too “meta” or self-referential.

This script is set roughly in the first season (1994). Just imagine a studio audience laughing after every line that’s supposed to be funny, and imagine some gentle acoustic guitar music playing after every line that’s supposed to be emotional, and this’ll feel like a real episode of Friends. Enjoy.